When You Are Feeling Numb & Empty Inside You Now Can Yearn For This One Thing Without Knowing It…

Feeling numb and emotionally empty inside is a result of years of living in a stressful environment. You got exposed to constant drama, aggression, violence, emotional, physical, or even sexual abuse. Perhaps you lived with someone who had a severe personality disorder. Think about a narcissistic personality disorder, sociopath or psychopath.

You have moved out of that “warzone” many years or even decades ago. But you feel the warzone or the inner conflict hasn’t moved out of you (just yet).

Or maybe it wasn’t that “bad” and all you can remember is that you had a pretty “normal” childhood. You can’t really remember anything really bad happened to you. But what if something had to happen to you, like the emotional nourishment of a parent but it didn’t. Your emotional needs were basically never met, therefore you always felt neglected, alone, and invisible.

Over the years you have learned to cope with it by building thick armor. An armor that has served you to protect you from any further pain. You did what was expected from you, but you never felt any excitement or joy in doing it.

You are alive, but not living.

Becoming over rational, stoic, and detached became your way of living. Perhaps you have built a decent living for yourself. Have a good career, a business, long-term relationship, marriage, etc. But are you truly happy and fulfilled?

You feel that all of that is basically a facade. It’s built with no real and strong foundation. In a matter of fact, your life feels like “walking on quicksand.” It’s about to fall down any minute like a house of cards. You do not really feel connected or engaged in your own life. Looking from the outside in as a complete stranger or bystander.

If someone asked you; what is it that you really want, you answer in a pretty vague way because you don’t know. You “think” you know, but can you really FEEL it?

This agony has become your way of “living” but as an empty shell. You find it’s hard to relate to other people. You can read their body language and emotions quite well but they can’t really seem to figure you out.

Deep down you want to be seen, recognized, “approved”, loved, and received. But you don’t really know how you want to be received apart from showing your “false self” or your mask. You want to show your True Authentic Self, but you don’t know-how.

People can’t receive you because “the sender” is sending a distorted wavelength. Therefore, there is no real communication or understanding.

You now started to isolate yourself from others and the world around you.

Chronic Boredom; Nothing seems to excite you anymore, gives you joy, purpose, or fulfillment.

Maybe your high level of stoicism has brought you a long way. A financially rewarding career, success, status, etc. But once again, is it really giving you joy and satisfaction?

You make your money so you can spend it on fast cars, motorbikes, extreme sports, or any other sensation-seeking activities. Just to feel a little bit of “aliveness.”

But once you hit the ground after skydiving the numbness kicks in once again. Do you think that’s healthy and sustainable?

Me personally I had the exact same thing. I always enjoyed the thrill of catamaran sailing, but as soon as I landed back on the shore the emptiness and loneliness simply took over again.

Or you can be the complete opposite of “living behind” a facade of success.

You have tried almost every job, career, or (sexual) partner under the son. Only to find out that it all leads to “nothing” because it was all based on “nothing.” No real connection or excitement about the job, career, or the person in the first place.

Maybe you thought it could take you to the “promise land” of wealth, success, fame, and recognition but all it gave you was more empty promises and disappointment.

I thought that a partner or a relationship would fill that void but it never did. Or going after money, success, fame, and status. But also that only led to further burn-out and emotional exhaustion.

Life can become pretty hopeless and if you can’t really feel or experience your emotions then what’s the point of living if you can’t “live?”

Personally, I never had these kinds of suicidal thoughts but I can totally understand how this level of isolation can lead to that.

If you have experienced some sort of emotional trauma or growing up in a very stressful way you can indeed form some sort of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). And you should seek out professional support from a qualified practitioner.

Me, I just like to share my personal experiences on these topics because there are many things you can do yourself.

When you have experienced so much stress and drama in your early life and nothing can turn you on at the moment then maybe there is only one thing left that your soul really needs right now. What that one thing is, is what I will share with you in my video:

Seek For This Instead…

You were raised in a very stressful way. So what’s the counterbalance of all that stress? That’s right… it’s peace! But how does “Inner Peace” look like and when can you achieve or experience more of that?

If you grew up with someone who either abused or neglected you emotionally then chances are you started to see yourself as someone who is UNWORTHY.

Your entire life you have tried your very best to compensate for that feeling of unworthiness. Which gave you nothing. When you feel unworthy you have developed a very critical inner voice that constantly likes to beat you up. You were conditioned to be abused or neglected and that’s what you started to believe you deserve.

So your subconscious mind constantly likes to prove to you that you are unworthy, invisible, not good enough, a fraud, too fat, too skinny, too poor, too rich, etc, etc.

It’s your self-judging inner critical voice that is causing all this unrest. Becoming aware of these self-sabotaging behaviors is one of the first steps in developing more Inner Peace.

“So what should you do then in order to experience more Inner Peace?”

As mentioned in my video. You can indeed go out in nature for long walks, self-reflection, and/or hiking. And yes all of that helps. And yes this is definitely something that we really need. The element of Earth is very much needed when you feel ungrounded and disconnected from our “artificial way of living.”

However, it’s a bit the same as skydiving. You can feel completely “in the here and now” when free-falling from the sky. But once you step out of that beautiful and peaceful environment called mother nature. The overthinking, emotionally numbness, and feeling empty and alone can continue.

For example, for the last several years I have used my escapes to nature and creativity as a way to connect more with myself. But because of these feelings of numbness and emptiness, I couldn’t really be bothered to stay consistent and persistent in creating, uploading, and marketing my YouTube videos for others. Always in the process of figuring out my shit.

Although creativity can be a beautiful practice to be more mindful and become more present in the here and now. I also have discovered that the time “in-between” creating for the joy of creating can also get us out of our flow. There is always that critical self judgemental voice that is robbing us of our joy.

You can love and absolutely enjoy playing the piano and all you want to do is just to play for the joy of it. Without any conditions or expectations. Or you play the piano because your family demands you to play or you must play for an audience in order to pay the bills. These expectations and conditions can once again rob you of the joy of creating.

Creating for the love and joy of it without any conditions or expectations that be a very powerful mindfulness practice to ease your self-judgment. And of course to ground you in the present moment.

Let Creativity be part of your Self Care Practice.

A few years ago I was following a shamanic healing retreat in Eastbourne (South of England) which was an amazing experience. However, during an evening campfire I actually really got in touch with this major void that exists in me.

This empty feeling felt like a very dark abyss of nothingness. It scared me. I was thinking about the care I should have received from both my parents which kind of felt it didn’t really happen.

Perhaps you have heard about the expression of “Your Light Enter Where It Has Hurt The Most.” Meaning your passion or purpose in life has everything to do with the path of sacrifices you had to make, the challenges you had to overcome, and the solutions you came across.

So if you feel that you have never had the emotional care you desired and deserved the most then Self Care might become one of your major passions in life.

You can either continue to feel apathetic and stoic about what happened or didn’t happen for you, feel sorry for yourself or go after the “care” you can now only provide to yourself.

What is Self Care And Why Should You Care?

When you would search for information about Self Care you probably find a very feminine approach to this topic. Which is leaving men again left alone in the dust for getting in touch with their emotions. Because we don’t care about doing our nails, make-up or taking a salt bath for 2 hours. We need something that will ignite our spirits and satisfy our souls.

Now of course both men and women have masculine and feminine energy. Most of us already have a pretty decent amount of masculine energy because that’s simply the world we live in. However, feminine energy is now more on the rise to rebalance and re-unite with masculine energy.

The feminine energy that exists in both men and women seeks out the nourishment of our inner self. Development of intuition, higher self, or the essence of life. It’s the part that likes to receive and allow things to come in unexpected ways.

Masculine energy is more about taking action and “getting out in the world.” Providing support, guidance, and protection for the feminine energy.

Toxic masculinity is the abusive part. We have been the abuser of our own Self. Healthy masculinity is, therefore, the provider and supporter of feminine energy. Which is to get more in touch with our own Essence, your soul, or your spirit. Whatever you want to call it.

Bringing awareness to your emotional wellbeing is the doorstep to your own Inner Self. This is the type of Self Care I am talking about. Yes, there are plenty of other things you can do that go hand in hand. Which is again the supporter for balancing out the feminine energy in you. You can learn more about these different Self Care Practices in this post.

What Can Ultimately Bring In More Inner Peace, Satisfaction, And Fulfillment?

When you are feeling empty and emotionally numb you first have to refill your cup. Refill your cup with Self Love and Self Compassion. Doing so will cleanse, and purify your cup from all the negativity you have gathered all these years.

There comes a point however when your cup starts to flow over to the world. You have aligned yourself much more with doing what you love and enjoy doing the most. This path of passion and purpose can therefore now become a beacon for others.

It’s in our nature to serve and make contributions. We are basically like a little drop of water that has forgotten he is part of an ocean. As soon as we can re-member / re-unite with that level of awareness that we are the ocean that only wants to be part of it, serves it so the ocean can serve us in the most abundant ways.

Of course, I speak about a metaphorical and metaphysical way here, but hopefully, you get my point. Seek for ways on how you can serve that do not feel like you are giving away something. Instead, you experience joy from giving and serving.

Following all these little breadcrumbs of joy will eventually help you to align more with your True Authentic Self. The world needs more people who are authentic and who are living and working from the heart.