How To Stop Being Insecure As a Man (At Work, In Relationships And Money) And Step Into Your True Powers…
Watch Here “Initiation” On Gaia as Mentioned in the video.
How To Stop Being Insecure As a Man (Where It All Began).
It has been that time of the year where I went on another journey of the soul. Perhaps you can call it another “dark night of the soul.”
In August I traveled to the Netherlands for my summer break. Visit family and friends. Just before I left I changed jobs. I felt I was in this “in-between job” for way too long. Almost 4 years now. However, I changed for something very similar but closer to home.
While I was in The Netherlands I started to doubt this decision. Wondering if I really was so excited about this new change. I already knew it would be another “in-between” job from really stepping into my own creative powers.
Because of that, I was wondering how it would be if I return “back home.” Close to family, friends, and where it’s all familiar. So I applied for some other careers in The Netherlands.
During my stay, the UK government decided that all travelers from France, Belgium, and The Netherlands had to self isolate for 2 weeks. Bit fed up with that, but hey who isn’t with everything that is currently going on in the world.
While I was in this isolation waiting for a response from my applications I was starting (AGAIN) to feel very lonely and isolated. This is something that has been going on for me for quite some time now.
After my 2 weeks of isolation, I was finally able to start my new job working for a used car dealer. Doing some marketing, sales, admin, etc. Unfortunately, I was again rejected by my application in The Netherlands.
How this new job made me feel.
Some people are just not made to be in a job. Too much of an independent thinker and they just know they are meant for something bigger. However, sometimes they go into a job because they feel insecure about their own ideas.
They think it might not work, can’t make money quick enough, etc, etc. So because of this insecurity they never really feel like the most authentic person while working in that job. Because what they do isn’t really in alignment with their own unique ideas, values, and beliefs. Therefore they suffer!
They suffer because they feel a lack of joy, purpose, satisfaction, and fulfillment. Therefore, also the money they earn feels “as never enough.” That feeling will also stimulate more lack, separation, and isolation. Hence, the vicious cycle of suffering of “I feel, therefore I am” (insecure, not good enough, isolated, or unworthy).
So I think you already know that happened to me after a few weeks, right?
Yup… the manager had to speak to me and said that they are unable to pay 10 pounds an hour. Instead, they only were able to pay me 8 pounds an hour (including self-employed taxes) for only 28 hours per week.
Ouch. That did indeed hurt my sense of Self-worth and rejected that offer. So I left… Telling myself that now is finally the time to step into my own personal powers and do that thing I always wanna do. Become a healer and creative entrepreneur.
A few weeks later…
So yeah I was sitting at home. Locked up in my room. Telling myself that I “should” do something, yet I didn’t… Instead, I was going to sleep late and wake up late. Playing video games and seeking jobs as this is something we should do, right? Why? Why do we procrastinate, and self sabotage ourselves? Repeat the same things with the same expectation it’s going to change. Yet it only leads to the same disappointments and setbacks over and over again.
Why can we sometimes feel so insecure?
So I have been giving you a bit of contrast to my own insecurities related to my creative work. And because of that, I was chasing down a job or financial securities. However, I constantly had to face setbacks in terms of; not enough work, shitty payments, rejection, unemployment, lack of joy, and satisfaction.
Do you see the pattern? Our external world is always a reflection of our internal world (thoughts, feelings, emotions, and beliefs). If we feel insecure about ourselves, our own ideas and values and seek a job or financial security. Then we constantly have to face the reality that we are not good enough. Or a manager makes us feel very insecure, etc, etc.
If we “just do our thing” that gives us the most joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment and we could do that thing even if we don’t get paid for it then this is a sign that this is YOUR PURPOSE.
However, what made us feel very insecure our the thoughts of failure or disappointment. Maybe we think that our work isn’t received very well. People don’t appreciate it, don’t give us validation, love, or want to reward us for it.
So basically, in the end, it all comes down to this one thing. Are we loved? Are we received, seen, appreciated, and perhaps even rewarded for our effort?
From Insecurity To Unity.
I think we can agree that the world is currently going through a very intense shift. Or perhaps a transformation. Everything that is based around the illusion of separation is either collapsing or transforming into unity.
We can also experience this feeling of oneness or unity within ourselves. For example; creative people like myself can “feel one”, in the flow, or in the zone by “channeling” their creative ideas. Either through speaking, writing, etc. This can make you feel very present.
By doing so you can tune into your state of “Unconditional Love” for yourself and your work. You then can give without expectation. Letting go of any kind of expectation will avoid disappointment. Therefore you overcome your insecurities.
Of course, this is just my personal philosophy and it might not be relevant for you at all. That’s why I recommend really stay on this path of personal development, mindfulness, and spirituality. Practice on a daily basis. Watch videos, follow, or create your own meditations. Go for walks in nature. Journal, follow exercises for self-reflection and self-improvement.
Now, of course, I am curious. What did you get out of this post? Any new insights, thought or questions you would like to share? Please let me know by leaving a comment below. Also, feel free to share this post with others 😉
