Dealing With Anxiety
Dealing With Anxiety, Depression And/Or Burn-Out; What If You Have Achieved Inner Peace, Then What?
Dealing with Anxiety, Depression and or a Burn Out becomes more common in our society as more people are dealing with more pressure and expectations from others and society. Myself I have struggled for years and years with anxiety and depression. Also I had moments where I felt completely burned out and didn’t/couldn’t work for months. Actually my recovery process took me many years until I learned to practice Self Reflection and Mindfulness.
In the next video and blog post we are going to talk about how to find your “way back home”; meaning navigating through the hurricane of anxiety and depressive feelings and connect back with your essence. Also I will reveal a realization I personally experienced after I started to feel more peaceful.
So with no further ado enjoy and have fun with my next video about “Dealing with Anxiety, Depression and or a Burn Out, what if you have achieved Inner Peace, then what”?
Do you also live in London and wish to experience the exact same hiking trail as I did? Then you can find here everything you need to know about this Walk in Surrey; called “Walk the Chalk” which goes from Dorking into Gomshall.
Want additional tips about how to deal with anxiety and depression? Keep on reading…
Where I have been so far with my own personal struggles with Anxiety, Depression and feelings of complete burned out;
The “Symptoms” (results coming to the surface after a long period of self suppression) of depression started for me back in 2006 (at the age of 20 years old). At that time I was working 6 days a week sometimes even 7 days in my “part-time” car cleaning business which I did besides my studies Logistics Management. I was making good money for my age and as a student I felt in some way proud of my accomplishments. I was driving a nice car for my age and was sailing on the lakes with my Catamaran which I always enjoyed. However there were moments when I came back from sailing where I felt complete empty; like something was missing from my life.
I thought if I only had a girlfriend then everything would be better. During that time I struggled with connecting with other people specially women. I grew up only with my farther and because his divorce from my mother he tought me to mistrust women.
Obviously I went on a search for connection which brought me all the way to Peru. When I came back I graduated from college and found myself in a corporate job in the shipping industry back in 2008/2009. During that time I started to feel very depressed as I couldn’t feel I was able to express myself fully in my job as a shipping agent.
And the end of 2009 / beginning of 2010 my depression became so big that I decided to leave my stable job and went back into business for myself. As I started from a place of desperation instead of inspiration I failed miserable. Lost all my savings, my apartment in Rotterdam and had to go back to my fathers place. He thought I lost my mind so I had to seek for shelter at my mothers place. 2010 until the end of 2011 was a period of survival (financially and emotionally). During that time I was determine to make money online as a internet entrepreneur because I thought that could give me freedom.
Once I did late 2011 until the end of 2012 I was indeed driving the car I wanted to drive and I was traveling around Europe with the women I still share my life with. However I was still feeling empty and depressed. My Internet Business collapse just like me. I went to seek for spiritual healing during several workshops and intensives in a period of about a year and a half.
2013 was the moment I burned my ships in Holland and went to London in order to start all over. The reason I went there is because my girlfriend was already living there. For months I didn’t and couldn’t work because I felt completely burned-out. Eventually I HAD to look for a job and soon I found a office job as a Internet Marketing Executive for a Software Company. Within 2 weeks I got the advice to continue to work for myself instead of working for a company.
However I still didn’t really had the energy and drive to be of service to others and continued to struggle with my own fears, doubts and anxieties about finding my place in this world.
Eventually I decided to get a Private Hire License and work as a executive driver doing airport runs. Getting back in work days of 12 hours for 6 days a week was not really helping me emotionally and I only felt more down the drain.
At the end of 2015 I decided to step back from everything and go back to Holland in order to find a more balanced and peaceful job in the shipping industry (compared to driving in central London for 12 hours a day 6 days a week). However working in the shipping industry can sometimes also be quite stressful as it’s pretty common to answer phone calls from captains in the middle of the night.
I still didn’t really feel the drive to be of great service and was constantly looking for a way to cut corners and just do enough to get by. I was more hiding then I was feeling connected and engaged to life and my work.
And the end of 2016 that shipping agent didn’t renew my contract because of course I was not in my place. Too old, too expensive and not engaged. Again I went back to London as we still had our apartment there and my girlfriend was still waiting there for me. Also we sub-rent our apartment in order to make life in London more affordable.
My first months back in London was again a bit searching for my way. Found a few marketing and promotion jobs on the street which I only did for a few days, had another internet marketing job for a recruitment agency in Central London and also sold myself into a position as a Yacht Charter Broker selling high end luxury yacht holidays. Also that was not my way and decided to leave that fancy title for something that could give me a bit more space to breath. I decided to look for something more quite and peaceful and found a job as a automotive inspector, driver, car photographer traveling the country to various dealerships.
Because I liked the job and the employer I worked for things slowly started to work a bit more in my favor…
So what if you can indeed experience more inner peace, is this really the place where you want to stay?
When you are currently dealing with anxiety or depression you feel you are hopeless and powerless going up and down the waves of life. Feeling stuck in your own emotional roller-coaster or like a small little sailing boat in a hurricane. As you might know the center of the storm or the eye of the storm can be a place of total peace. Everything that is in the waves of the storm are your negative feelings that indicates that you are not connected or in align with your essence. The challenge is to navigate back to the “eye of the storm” which I could also call your Core Essence. Your Core Essence is always at ease and is also the place of joy and unconditional (self) love.
So once you have reached the “Eye of the Storm” or feel more connected and in aligned with your essence you might enjoy the peace for a while and it’s a great place to be at. However just being at peace all day long might sound like a very cool and idealistic “new age” idea but eventually you want to experience more, right? You also want to experience more fulfillment, satisfaction, joy and abundance, correct?
These type of feelings can be experienced when we start to engage to life more and be of service to others. Helping others to get what they want so can we can have the things that what we want. Contribution and connecting with others is a energy that comes from Desire and Desire is actually a very powerful and creative energy force that sometimes can be confused and mixed by the idea that desiring things can come from a place of LACK. This could be true in someway therefore it’s very important to stay clear on your intentions.
So where is anxiety and depression actually coming from?
In the last part of the video I spoke about in-authenticity, that anxiety could come from being inauthentic. Meaning you are NOT living your Truth, which means you are not connected, in aligned and living from your Core Essence. Being in-authentic could be a result of living with someone who poisoned your mind, spirit and soul therefore you had to build projection walls around you in order to feel less pain. During that survival period you became more separated from your essence therefore you are now looking for spiritual answers in order to connect back with your own essence.
A great video I can highly recommend is from Teal Swan where she goes very deep in the topic of in-authenticity.
As Teal Swan also mentioned in her video getting your own space and spending some alone time during long walks in nature might actually be a very powerful tool in order to connect back with your own essence. That’s why I love to spend a lot of time in nature where I can ground myself and work with my intuition.
Because I am also on my journey to bring balance between my physical identity and my higher self I have made it my purpose to commit to this type of Self Realization & Self Actualization work. If you would like to share your thoughts, ideas and or feedback about this topic then feel free to leave your comments below.
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