How To Heal From a Narcissistic Emotional Abusive Relationship And Re-Connect With Your True Self.

In case you haven’t read my personal story yet I recommend you do that any time when you can so you understand better where I am coming from.

Until recently I didn’t even know there were actually labels such as Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome until I started to learn more about it. What I discovered were actually the things I already went through. The dramas I was in between my age of 10 until 23. And the symptoms (challenges) as a adult. From the moments of my first realizations of total emptiness, loneliness and isolation to moments of anxieties, depressions, burn-out, feeling lost and un-grounded until the moments of self healing and healing others. It all seems to fall into place now. 

My whole goal and mission is to show you that there is actually light at the end of this tunnel no matter how dark everything seems to be right now. However I do recognize these very dark moments. Moments that just doesn’t seems to end. Moments where you just can’t detached yourself from. Trust me my friend I have been there! Maybe some of these moments were not as extreme like you are dealing but at least I can relate.

During my child-hood I was very far away from being aware of the term narcissism or any kind of personality disorder. All I ever did was trying to make it through the day by simply suppressing my own emotions. Just distract myself with work, video games, sports, parties, smoking and drinking.

Even when becoming a adult I was still very far aware from these terms. However I slowly became aware that something was missing in my life or something was “wrong with me.”

I started to struggle with deep feelings of loneliness, isolation, separation, depression, work/career issues, financial problems, relationships, anxieties and feelings of complete mental/emotional exhaustion aka burn-out. All of that before my age of 25 years old. From there I realized that I had to go within and that led me into a spiritual/personal development journey for self healing. Now I am very grate I woke up and had to do some inner work because some people just flipped over to the other side and just can’t seems to get themselves together or even worse. 

 

But here is why I do what I do…

First let me introduce myself real quick. My name is Jean-Paul Blommaert from The Netherlands, I am from 19 February 1986 so that makes me on the edge of being a Pisces and Aquarius. A Pisces is the most sensitive type of person compared to the other zodiacs. A Pisces is a Feeler, a Wanderer, Free spirit, Idealistic, Water Energy, Dreamer, a Modern Hippie, Mystical, Spiritual, Intuitive, Artistic, Philosopher, Emphatic, Healer, Explorer, Adventurist and pretty much a individual type of person (love spending time alone in my ideal fantasy worlds).
The Aquarius part in me is the Social, Practical, Wise, Idea Driven & Strategist, Rebel, Control freak, Change Maker, Intellectual, Emotional, Egocentric, Forward Thinking, Air Energy, Outgoing, Humanitarian, Holistic Problem Solver, Visionary and Big Thinker. Oh and sometimes a bit arrogant while Aquarius also believe they are “further then most people.”

So there you have it… now as you can imagine these different kind of personality traits caused quite some inner conflict. One part wants to solve problems (like a entrepreneur) and the other part wants nothing more then to wonder around in a mystical idealistic fantasy worlds. Exploring spiritual dimensions and deep inner thoughts & feelings. Express his creativity through artistic work.

Therefore I struggled with a lot of doubts, insecurities, fears and anxieties. Entrepreneurship? Nahh been there & done that. What’s the point of working hard and making money to buy stuff you don’t need to impress others you don’t know or even like. Sounds to boring for me.

Artist, Healer or Spiritual Teacher? How can I make money in that way, ain’t practical to me either. My goodness… welcome in my life. Thanks god I have a very practical girlfriend in my life who keeps
me grounded in reality.

She would indeed describe me as someone who is not always so humble, egocentric, someone who doesn’t seems to care about others, someone who don’t like small talk (Universe is to BIG for Small Talk), but she loves how emphatic I am, great listener, emotional mature & independent.

 

So What Is It That We Really Desire Or Are Looking For?

Some people think that chasing their “surface desires” will give them the answer of where life is or should be all about. Other people tend to chase a answer regarding their “core or soul desires” and neglect or reject their surface desires along the way to find it.

So what are our Surface & Core Desires?

Well Surface Desires are pretty obvious right? We all want more money, perfect Health & Fitness and amazing relationships. But is that really what we want or is it a way of adapting to a environment that tells us what we want? A Believe of what we should think, behave, do, have or feel. Or are they just expectations giving to us of what we should do with our lives?

Why do we want more money? To feel safe, secure, free, independent, empowered and comfortable right? Maybe to also feel accepted & approved in certain social classes. But having more money can also be a result of knowing your place in the world, where you stand for, having a purpose, vision, mission and serve people with solving problems. Attract it with ease when can you act from a state of unconditional love for who you are and what you do.

Why do we want better health & fitness? Well as long as we “Want” Or “Need” something we feel we don’t have it. Having a Healthy & Strong Body is our natural state. Our bodies has been designed to live in for over hundreds of years until we decide to ascend out of it. We decided along the way to damage it with our thought processes. Thoughts leads to words, words leads to believes & habits, and they lead to actions. Many people are unhealthy because they believe they should be. A believe that comes from fear, anger, guilt, shame and unworthiness.

Relationships? The number one relationship you should focus on is the one you have with your-Self with capital S. What I mean with Self is something we will be exploring all over this website. Most people have messed up relationships because they have these relationships with a condition. They want love, acceptance and approval from the other without creating that inside themselves first.

 

Our Body (physical experience & expression of life) wants to HAVE things, Our mind wants to DO things and our Soul wants to BE. Be – Do – Have. So Above, So Below, So Within So Without.

What our Soul really wants (Core Desires)…

Earth is not a school to learn, we are here to Remember our True Self. Everything we need to know is Right Here Right Now. Ask and it will be given as a “Instant Download” – like going to Google or YouTube. Everything we experience is a reminder or at least a invitation to “Remember” who we truly are before we told ourselves who we had to be according to the expectations we put on ourselves, from others and our environment. We are here to Re-Member or Re-Unite the Vibration of Unconditional Self Love. All the suffering we choice to experience is a result of our free will, it’s also a Reminder to Remember. We are here to Climb back on the Vibrational Scale of Consciousness.

Creating a Life Expressed Through and By You, You Love And Adore.

Being in touch with your Core Desires while manifesting your Surface Desires starts with Connection. Just like the Wifi sign which represents Connection. Connection with your own Inner Being, Your Intuition or Inner Child that only wants to BE. Like a Iceberg in the ocean who is the physical form of water (energy) and who is connected to his ocean. Being the highest version of Yourself leads to activities you Love. You create by the joy of creating with the freedom of no expectations. You Act Unconditionally without the “Need” for anything. We all want that type of FREEDOM, the Inner Peace and Love for what we do and are. That’s where all the magic begins. That’s where we are Remembering, that’s why “This is a Place To Remember.”